My unauthorized very authorized account- Ariel Sandler
"I'll be tired when I'm old."
It's safe to assume these words, once spoken by the great Method Man, have neer been used in relation to a Birthright trip.
Until now. We don't need sleep considering the adventure that's about to unfold.
Meet the team: we're led by Clark, stoic and steady in his command. The late-arriving (not-forshadowing) Stella, slightly more free-spirited in her approach and every bit the Jewish mother we all love know. Finally is Shiri: sweet, a little sickly, and owner of the coolest purple-colored capri's you've ever seen.
We are students and soldiers, farmers and state of Florida graduates, New Yorkers and new to the land of milk and honey. But after an Israeli version of Cypress Hill's "Jump Around" and some close encounters with other's foot odors, we are family.
Achim.
Our trip truly begins on a blistering Sunday morning in the heights of Golan. The panoramic views are breathtaking and unlike anything we see in the states. The hike is sometimes grueling, a bit slippery, and extremely sunscreen-soaked and gerry-water'd. Thanks Stella.
After a trip through a former bunker, some Israeli flag shenanigans, an olive oil bath and some Coffe Anan (you can't make this stuff up), it was back to our Kibbutz for - you guessed it - more icebreaking.
We learn two of us enjoy dancing in the shower and one thoroughly enjoys riding on the back of a motorcycle, among other things. The most important of which may be that asking 40-plus 20-somethings to fight over a single metal chair isn't the safest of ideas. We cannot forget the other important lesson of the day, teaching others how to dougie.
Day two starts with another run around the compound comprised of, shockingly, less participants than expected. After saying good-bye to everyone's favorite Israeli canine - we'll call him "Marcus" - we hit the road for the mystical world of Tsvat.
Our first stop in the city Kabbalah's origin is a meeting with Robert from Detroit Avram. He is, how should I describe him, an interesting dude. The artist graduated from relative religious obscurity to become an unencumbering Kabballistic believer. His words are emotional, full of conviction, and for some, inspiring. Avram can really be summed up in variations of a single word: awesomly, awesomly, awesomely, awwweeessssoooooommmmeeee.
But there is more to Tsvat than slow talkers.
We listen to beautiful music in the cobblestone-laden city, see the synagogue where Kabbalah's spirtual beginnings began, and learn that you can do some pretty funky stuff with wax.
S'vat is not your typical city. On a related note, neither is Tel Aviv.
For one, it is grounds to the memorial of Yitzhak Rabin. The shrine to Israel's assassinated Prime Minister serves as a reminder for how close to peace we once were, and how far we still have to go.
But it's also a city unlike its historical neighbors. Tel Aviv is young, vibrant, and exciting. It proudly declares itself a city that never sleeps.
Naturally, we test the theory.
Tel Aviv, 1. Disney soundtrack-singing enthusiasts, 0.
Any lingering "effects" from the night before dissipate faster than a magic carpet ride thanks to the unintentional comedic stylings of slow-motion, kite-flying 1990's video editing and a very intentionally entertaining tour guide at the site where the state of Israel was established. A reenactment of David Ben-Gurion's historic announcement proves to be moving and hilarious.
Speaking of historial moments in Israeli history, we're off to Jerusalem.
The Old City is a throwback. Think all-black everything. From black hatters to roads roamed by our ancestors, the historical beginninngs of our religion are everywhere. But enough suspense. The main event has arrived.
What if I was to tell you there is a place - nay, an experience - that invokes religious feelings unlike any you've ever felt? Is that something you'd be interested in? The Western Wall, the holy of holies, is special. So is the unique opportunity to write God a personal message. It may come true. It may not. According to our boy Avram, it's already been decided. Which means only time will tell if my family enjoys continued health and happiness and if I ever meet my Southern Belle or the Chicago Bulls win next year's NBA championship.
This trip has been entertaining, informing and inspiring. Friends have been made, laughs shared, and some incredible lost in translation moments experienced. And we haven't even seen these girls ride a camel yet.
Rest is overrated. No sleep 'till after Israel.
